150 Calories VS $150

It's official. It's been blogged about by all of us. Mila, Jen, and I are stickin' to it!

Comment with what you guys think:

• How long will this go on for? Maybe 6 months? 
• We need to record our starting weights as of Jan. 1, 2009, don't forget! Should we start a google wave about it so we can all check in?
• How often do we update the weights? Every week, every 10 pounds, every 10%, or just at the end?
• Keep in mind, the money is motivation, but we're doing this ultimately to live healthier lives. If we all end up super hot, we'll spend the money on new clothes or something as a reward. 

I'm excited!!

a couple things

1] IT SNOWED! It was beautifullllll!

2] Laura Beth posted a note on facebook a couple weeks back that I really, really liked. She used the scripture 1 Cor 13:4-7, which is one of my favorites. It's super popular, but I like it because I've used it so many times to define what I have with Daniel. But, Laura Beth put it in a way that was so powerful. We can't live a loving life if we're not full of it from our inside first. Love has to define us first. We have to be loving in all our additudes, emotions, and actions. Therefore, it's interesting to look at the verse with my name instead of "love' and use it as a checklist to see what I'm at. Can I say that I AM love?

Katie is patient, Katie is kind.
She does not envy.
Katie is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
She is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
She keeps no record of wrongdoing.
She does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
  She always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing Katie cannot face;
There is no limit to her faith, hope, and endurance.

Currently I cannot say that I live up to this standard that I am called to live by. But, I need to discipline myself to learn to live this way. After all, the greatest commandment is to "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." and the second is to "Love your neighbor as yourself." See? It's all centered around LOVE. When you're loving God, your actions and additudes follow suit.

Also, real quick. I'd like to shout out to my God. For real man, the past two-three weeks have been really trying. I've been tested and tempted a lot more than usual for some reason and it's really been getting me down. I've had a bad additude, I've been angry-ish, confused, and majorly stressed. I wasn't blaming God at all, but I wasn't taking my frustration to Him. I've given in, I've done wrong, and just kept going. BUT I can say that all it takes is confession and I'm back in his hands with that joy back in my life that wayyy overcomes all the circumstances that bring me down.

3] I'm not sure what my future holds right now. I can't be too specific at this point, but I have a few opportunites in front of me and made a decision to move forward and pursue one, but ultimately what happens is going to be what God's plan is for me. If that means a big change is going to happen, that's what is meant to be. If I lose, and nothing changes job-wise, then that is God's will, too. But, I have a much better additude about work now, too. At least I have A job, which is something some people can't say. Holding a grudge isn't going to help anything. However, I have decided that Mila is totallly right, and holding my tongue is better than trying to make change happen in a place where it's not welcome.

4] In January, Mila, Jen, and I are starting a bet. $150 are at stake, to who can lose the biggest percentage of weight. I don't really care about the money, because my focus is on getting healthy. It's not even to be skinny, but to live a healthier life. I'm really, really excited about it!

5] I have been on such a country music kick lately. I looooove Carrie Underwood more than anything right now.

I think that's it! It was actually more than I thought, sorry!

bloggering

so i have a couple of blogs in mind that i need to jot down. don't have time right now..

but i will say: my resume is updated.

take that with a grain of salt, or a pillar. im more serious about this than anyone thinks. well, i know 2 people understand.

independence is most costly than people realize

ironically, moving home is costing me more money (out of pocket directly) than i imagined.

i didn't realize how much i was relying on that student loan.

it was paying more than rent. apparently.

well, am paying a lot more for gas than before, but i don't know how i did it when i lived at AMLI.

i feel way more broke now than i ever did then.

but whatever, it's all good. cc#2 is paid off, and the third is on it's way. =)

MY
DISCOVER
CARD
IS

PAID 

OFF!

omgomgomgomgomgomg thank you insurance money!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love my life!

Not much time, but a quick update is better than no update!

So this weekend was pretty good.

Still have a 5-7 page paper due tomorrow that I still haven't read the book for - but hey, that's college, right!?

Although that IS what I should be working on - it's date night! Daniel is taking me to Benihana and Twilight! That sounds like it could be a place of it's own, "Benihana and Twilight", lol.

I love date night!

I also LOVE insurance money! Haha watch out credit card debt - you one step closer to being GONE!  No more discover card!

This week is looking awesome. Monday I have school, Tuesday is the Fried Turkey Party at work (I wonder if that's still happening - I hope so!), and then I'm free!!! Time to catch up on laundry, cleaning, family time, and sleeeeeep! Also, I LOVE Thanksgiving food! Well, actually that's a lie. I love turkey and mashed potatoes, and creamed corn. Everything else - cranberries, yams, stuffing - ehhh.

But then it's just one more week of class, a few finals, and WE'RE FREEE!!!

One month from yesterday until our CHRISTMAS CRUISE!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!

Also, shout-out to Aijy turning 20! We still have to get together to give you your present!!

I did it!

This week was SOOO long!

THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!! (It's gonna be SUCH a good one, too!)

Checklist of Awesomeness:

• New Front Tires
• Pay the guy I rear ended for his tail light =(
• Bank of America to work out the accounts with Daniel
• Clean up my room
• Make something (can't elaborate right now!)
• Disney on Ice!
• Church - I miss it a lot. I haven't been in about a month. =( I am even going at 9 for big church!  (To people reading - you should come!)
  
• Make something else. (hehe)
  
• Chuy's for "surprise" bday dinner! 
• Em's First Competitive Cheer Competition
  

This is a great weekend to have after this week!! From here on out I think it's gonna be easyyyyyyyyy. I have one more paper, a photography project, 1 HR test, 2 OLS tests, fried turkey day at work, Thanksgiving,  about 1 week and a half of school after that and then a CHRISTMAS CRUISE!!!!!!

I am just sooooo happy to say I have been dreading this week since the semester started but I made it! Haha

I'm almost FREEEEEEEEEEE

real life. NEW PERSPECTIVES ON EVERYTHING!

**I know this is ridiculously long. Please excuse it, it's just that all this has been on my heart and writing it out feels good. I'd like you to read it - that's obviously why I wrote it down, but I understand if you don't because it's SO long. I think it's interesting haha.****

So on Saturday we went to Renaissance Festival, which was SO fun, but neither Daniel or I woke up for church. =( That bummed me out a lot more than usual for some reason so I was kind of down in the morning. Then, Daniel and I did our finances and I realized how broke I am.

If you've been reading, you know that I did not fill out the FAFSA this year because 1.) my dad did his taxes late with an extension and I didn't have them in time and most importantly 2.) I didn't want anymore loans anyway. SO I have to pay the excess of my tuition out of pocket. Which makes me proud to do, but at the same time is really hard when I don't make much money, and I'm having to spend so much on gas now, among other things. Anyway, tuition is due Friday, and I still don't have my reimbursement check from the conference I went on. I've only budgeted/saved enough to cover the amount that my reimbursement didn't cover, because I thought for sure the time in between JULY and NOW would be plenty long enough for UH to do all it's processing and approvals for me to get that money. But, apparently not. So, I might have a hold on my account and my grades won't get released until it's paid. They said the check was mailed out Oct 28, but I still don't have it. It's almost been 3 weeks. CRAZY. But whatever - there's nothing I can do about it - so freaking out is pointless.

So anyway, going back to me being broke: Gaby, Daniel's older little sister's sweet 16 is coming up and they're all going on a Disney cruise. They invited me and I really, really want to go because in addition, it's also May 2nd - May 6th, which means I would turn 21 on a Disney Cruise on the 4th!!! I cannot tell you how freaking awesome that would be!!

BUT I cannot afford to go without putting it on credit. Which I really, really, really do not want to do. But I will feel bad, because Daniel says he's not going without me. Even though HE CAN afford it. I can't - I just can't work enough hours with school. So I don't know. I would love to go, but I think the mature thing to do is just decline, and save for a time we can go later. =(

_______________

So needless to say, all this made me pretty sad. But, again, God knows how to put me in my place. Daniel and I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and although I've gotten better about the importance of money management, and have actually helped other people (Aij!), I have still struggled with applying the principles to me OWN finances. However, I know why God has brought me to this point of financial suckage.

I'm a very hands-on learner. I write everything down. I make lists. I cross things off to see a visual of things getting done. So, all FPU's ideas/principals are great on paper, which I understand. But, understanding is WAY different than applying them. Principles work GREAT for Daniel. But for Katie, well... haha not quite. See, I am an emotional spender who apparently didn't realize that until she was literally brought to a point where she could not survive without budgeting to make it. So, this is it! I am never spending a paycheck without budgeting it again!

Daniel and I have combined out finances, so we have 3 accounts. One joint, and one for each of us. Everything that's not "active" money for the week for things like food, gas, bills, etc goes in the joint account for the e-fund, tuition, cruise (maybe), etc. It will work out much better this way, and really just makes more sense.

I feel so much better about my (our) money now, now that I've learned WHY I've been on a seemingly downhill slope since I moved out of our apartment. (Which as a sidenote, I SOO miss.)

______________

On that notion, I mentioned a few days ago how irreplaceable and amazing and awesome Aijah is. I'm very very very thankful to have her. I just miss living with her so much. We can sit and talk for hours on end and not even realize time is moving past us. I miss our late night McDonald's runs, our weird accent conversations, and most of all - our Whitney Houston nights. Those were the BEST.

Having a best friend is just one of the most important things someone can have. I never had a best friend like "they have in the movies". That is, until Aijah. I was always usually better friends with guys because girls are so dramatic/needy. But, our friendship is just so perfect because I can look at her and tell her her hair looks like a bird's nest, and she knows I'm just trying to make sure she looks pretty, it's not meant to be an insult. And she can stare at a zit that popped up overnight on my face and make fun of me for it, and we can give it a social security number, or a zip code. It's just something I never really thought I'd have. Sure, we go out to eat and people think we're "together" - but we know we're not, and we're having fun being loud laughing and not caring.

Aij, I miss you.. a lot. I never want to be too busy for you. Bacallis was SO fun.

Also, sidenote - for other friends reading, (I know who you are!) and just so you know, I love you too - I just had to give my Aijy a shoutout!!

_________________

[This blog has transitioned so well.]

Speaking of being thankful - I was listening to KSBJ last night and they were talking about thanksgiving. Not the holiday, but the actual act of giving thanks, being gracious. More specifically, modeling graciousness in order to teach your kids/others.

They were talking about how important it is to be sure to thank God for the bad days and the hard times and the stressful moments because he brought us there for a reason, and there must be some kind of good in it because it's part of his plan. In addition, there's an important notion to realize. The entire act of being thankful points to God's glory. Essentially, if you're thankful for what you have; you're health, your happiness, what have you - you were blessed by your creator. Why would we be thankful for or to a spontaneous combination of particles? Why would we be thankful to chance? Just an interesting topic....

So yesterday I was being all grumpy and ehhhhhhh, but after hearing that and going through this loooong drawn out thought process, I realized that yesterday was just a day to teach me and put me in my place, yet again. I am going through all this NOW so I (or we..) are prepared in the future and we're not suffering financially at that time. It's better to learn the hard way NOW, than to go through this later, when more people are affected, or we're further in debt or something.

I get it now. God is using my situations/circumstances to bring me to a place where turning to him is not only what I need to do, but what I WANT to do. Also, the only thing TO do, to feel better about it.

____________________

Okay, one last thing. Working out. Goes back to being thankful. See I've always had this unmentioned complex about working out because it's so hard in the moment and takes so long to see results, so obviously, that's unfavorable. However, I have another new perspective on this, too!

Previously, I thought, I need to work out to lose weight. I want to look better in my clothes. I want Daniel to wrap his arms around me and go "wow!" But, NOW I want to work out for something different. Nothing like any of that.. I WANT to work out to be healthy. Did you read that right, Aij?? I WANT to work out?!!!!!!!!! I want to eat right and work out to have a good lifestyle. If I lose weight, than cool - but I'm to try to keep my focus on just being healthy, rather than losing weight, because I believe that's a much less superficial goal.

_____________

If you've read this far - I sincerely applaud you. You are a true friend, haha. Thanks, a lot.

I cannot tell you how much I love CHANGE.

I have decided to make some big changes for next semester, and sooner

1.) I am dropping Entrepreneurship. I try hard, I study (although admittedly, not as much as I would like.) and I still struggle to get the grades I want. I have another class that I can apply for that credit, so I don't have to retake it or anything. I'd just be out the money - which really sucks - but it's the right choice when it comes to my GPA.

2.) After Christmas, I am going to resign as senator. This takes up the most of my time/energy/effort and I can't afford it anymore. I feel horrible for quitting the position I was elected to do, but I have to consider my future. (See below.) It's a great leadership opportunity, but it's not at all relevant to my degree.

3.) I am going to apply to be on the yearbook staff - but with limited involvement. Enough to prove what I know, but not enough to go crazy. This is because I want to apply to be Editor-in-Chief of the Houstonian yearbook. Which by the way is a PAID position, and a senator is not. Also, it's exactly what I want to do.. so it's a much better position careerwise. Also, if Aij gets to be the Managing Editor - can you say perf?!?! I can! (PERF!!!)

3.) Phi Lamb might not work out, this is a long story, but I'm not sure it's the right time for it at UH right now.. We'll see.

4.) Still working 2 days a week, but it's Wed/Fri, so it's going to be difficult for the beginning of the week. However, Tues/Thurs I only have one class, so if I'm not yearbooking, I can be working remotely. (I <3 GoToMyPC)

5.) I am SO excited about Christmas Break, and beyond. No school, Christmas Cruise, and a new beginning next year with school, and Daniel and I's FOUR YEAR anniversary!! I can barely believe it!

I don't

know where to go from here. At this point, I have so much going on in my own life emotionally/decisionally (that might not be a word,haha) & I don't know how to fit in resistance to help. Other than pray, pray, pray, pray, pray, pray. But that is objection in itself. But, that doesn't matter. So here it goes:

God, I pray that she will hear what I am trying to tell her. I pray that she lets herself get the help she needs so she can start to see how valuable she truly is. She means the world to me, but me saying that does nothing. She needs to really feel it. What he has done to her is awful, but he's not her world. She needs to get back in line with reality, but she needs help. She can't do it alone. She's not weak, she can do it. But this disease has overtaken her and she cannot overcome it alone. She is a victim of circumstance and is suffering needlessly. I pray that you give me the wisdom and patience to help her in any capacity I can and need to. I pray that whoever you need to walk into her life does, and she crawls out of her emotions without hesitation to see the true joy in life that only you can offer. I pray that someday she understands the truth in You; the truth that is my faith. I pray that the scrutiny and ridiculing stops and she too gains the open mindedness she says I lack. I love her, and I love you, God, I know you alone are capable of the task at hand. Use me however I need to be in order for change to happen. Thank you, Amen.

New direction.

I talked with Matt Dulin, the Print Production Manager at the Daily Cougar the other day at our IGAEAUH Meet & Greet. We were talking about the yearbook staff and it's dynamics/needs/changes it's going through, etc.

Essentially what it boils down to is that I found out I am really interested in applying to be the Editor-in-Chief. They are also looking for a Managing Editor - which Aijah would be great at. I cannot tell you how thrilled I would be if Aij and I got to be yearbook editors again. We both have experience, which is the main thing they're looking for. Both of us have been section editors, both have been Editor-in-Chiefs. Now, I focus more in my degree on production and management and design, and she focuses more on editing. Can you say perfect?! She's a great editor, too - we'd make an awesome team - again.

However, it's just another job I can add to my list of never ending things to do. I am looking to downsize my workload also. But, there is a solution (or two.)

Currently I am:
-Senator in the Student Government Association (SGA)
-Secretary, IGAEAUH
-Secretary, Sigma Phi Lambda
-Working 20+ hours a week
-Taking 15 hours of classes and 6 lab hours
-Leading small group on Sunday mornings

SO, I am too busy.

Solution:

I love being a senator. I feel like the College of Technology needs someone who cares because there is a lot that needs to be done. However, it's not personally beneficial to continue my involvement any longer past this year because it's not related to my degree at all. It's a great leadership opportunity, but it gives me too much to do. I'll do all that I can this year - put in a lot of effort - but then my time is up. It's smarter for me to be involved in something more relevant, like the yearbook. This is the most time consuming of all my commitments, so it would free me up the most.

In all honesty, Sigma Phi Lambda might not work out. We are having a very hard time getting interested members, and while we are putting full force behind trying to identify members, no one is coming to any of our meetings or events. Plus, we're all students with limited time available to devote to it in the first place. Also, I talked to BJ Ramon today, the director of the BSM and got some interesting insight. He said that there are about 35 Christian organizations on campus, with the vast majority of them being 10 people or under. (We need 15 to be a recognized chapter of Phi Lamb.) There are A LOT of organizations, and in comparison to the 37,000 students here, just not that many Christians. He has a vision for unity for the Christian Cougars and part of his goal for this year is to contact those organizations to try to do projects together, to create a more uniform, more impactful, bigger presence on campus. So, in his opinion, there isn't really a need for Phi Lamb at UH right now, because the Christian community won't be receptive to it at this time. It would just "create another organization." While it's pretty discouraging, God has perfect timing. If and when God wants and needs a chapter of Phi Lamb at UH is when it will happen.

IGAEAUH. Well, that's a whole story in itself. In short, I think I would be a really good president. I already have a whole list of initiatives I'd like to accomplish, and feel very qualified for the position. I don't know if anyone else in interested in running, so I don't know the likelihood of me actually getting the position, but we'll see. However, there is a time commitment that is significantly heavier than any of the other officers. But with that, part of what I think the organization needs to do is restructure the responsibilities. Currently, our President is assuming a lot of the work, which takes a lot of time. We'll see.

I will still work 20+ hours. I just have too many responsibilities that require my attention there. Plus, it's money, honey! Can't do my Dave Ramsey budget if I don't have any money!

And then, being yearbook editor. This is my ultimate goal of next year - but it's the most uncertain. It's a big job. It's a PAID job. That ultimately makes all the other things fall to 2nd priority because I would be getting paid to do it.

I will be taking the same amount of hours next semester, but I will be taking a mini-mester before the semester actually starts to knock our Finite Math, so I'll only have to focus on 4 classes instead of 5.

So what I see happening is me running for IGAEAUH President in December. Then, in April applying for Yearbook Editor. Not running for SGA, and we'll see what happens with Phi Lamb. I think it's possible. But after that, my commitments are full! No more saying "Yes, sure!" to everyone.

I am kind of almost a senior. Wow.

Newest pictures!

Will I ever be a pro? Who knows...

It's just incredibly fun. ALSO, Picasa is A-MAZING! I am in love!

for blog

wishlist

just to document it:

• external hard drive
• iPod touch
• credit paid off
• nails done/massage/hair cut, basically - spa day
  
• tuition paid
• engagement ring
• room to be done, chair rail painted

im sure ill think of more later.

Updation

This past week was a hard week to try to transition into my simplified life: Midterms.

So, I can't really say that I have succeeded in "slowing down" because with so much that I really did have to do last week, it was hard to catch my breath. However, I have a much better attitude about everything and I have said no about things. (eeeee!)

This next week is looking rather bright. I am finalizing my design work for the new SGA website, so that burden will be lifted. I don't have an SGA meeting this week. By the end of the week I will be caught up 100% on my Graphic Productions class (*for sure*) and entrepreneurship (*crossing fingers*). I think I have a good chance of raising my GPA this semester. I just really have to stay on top of entrepreneurship because it's online. I'm usually so over-organized about online classes and for some reason I just can't get the hang of it with this one.

Saturday was one of the best days I have had in a longggggg time. It's proof that my attitude truly has changed because I actually got in a car accident, but I can still say I had an amazing day.

Daniel, Aijah, and I (and Lucy) went to UH to paint an 8 foot tall cougar cut-out for the Homecoming Competition. The theme was cartoons, and we were painting ours to represent SGA. So, I thought, since SGA empowers students, Popeye would be a good idea because he's strong. Power, strong... get it? Soooo, I have to say, it turned out great. It is the perfect combo of a cougar with popeyes face.



But, we had to pick up some more paint from Hobby Lobby and while on the feeder of 610, I got in an accident! It wasn't my fault though, and my car is drivable, so it's all good. I'll just wait to fix it until I get the money from their insurance. I was driving in the left most lane of the feeder and the girl I hit was trying to get across the other 2 lanes of traffic. She said she couldn't see because of the cars in the lanes beside mine, but she didn't have an answer of why she kept going when she "couldn't see." The cop said she failed to leave a stop sign safely, but didn't issue her a ticket. It's all good in the neighborhood though.





In addition, both Aijah AND Daniel spilled their entire large drinks from Whataburger in my car. Awesome. (Unbelievably, this is unrelated to the accident.. it happened prior.)

Also, our wonderful cougar might get disqualified because we're not sure the paper work was turned in correctly. We will SO disappointed if that happens. But, we'll see.

We had a really good, really fun dinner at Outback Steakhouse. and then went to see Couples Retreat which was SOO funny!

So, I feel great. I had a great weekend, my room is cleaner. Not perf yet, but it's getting there. I think I need a bigger desk or something. I keep running out of room for stuff.

Ready for a good week,
K.

Top 3

The top three pieces of advice I have ever been given:

1. Never stop looking for a job. Even if you have what you think is your "dream job." This doesn't mean you have to keep actively submitting your resume everywhere, but just keep an open mind, and keep on the lookout. A better fit may be around the corner, but you might miss it if your eyes are closed to new opportunities.
   
2. Scholarships don't pay for people to get B's. This won't be relevant for me forever, but for now, it's very motivating to know that someone paid for me to go to class, do my homework, and take my education seriously. B's aren't enough.
   
3. Always leave one piece of food after eating with someone who made you dinner. That way, they know that you liked it, but also that they served you enough and you're not leaving hungry.
   

I. Don't. Have. To. Say. Yes. To. Everyone.

Please note that this is not meant to be complaints. It's not meant to to be a laundry list of how busy I am. It's definitely not supposed to be anything negative. It's more an inventory of my life, what I need to do to get back on track, and calm down, and let other people do stuff..in other words, don't feel obligated to read if you don't want to.

So this weekend was Flawless Weekend. I'll be completely honest and say that I told everyone that I didn't want to go - more specifically, that I was too busy to go. Well, let's just say that God knows how to put me in my place! Going in with a semi-bad attitude, I made the best of it. (It was really fun though, even though I was grumpy on the inside.) The focus was on the masks girls wear to cover themselves up and hide from their flaws and sins. Molly and Jamie gave a hilarious end of the weekend wrap-up speech. I felt like during the part they talked about being too busy they were speaking directly to me. I haven't been sleeping right, I haven't felt healthy in awhile, I've been stressing about everything I "have" to do, when in reality, I think it's just me trying to tell myself that I'm important. I think that I am (was) so worried about what people would think the reason was that I moved home and ignore the REAL reason, that I had to try to make up for it with "stuff" to fill my schedule. Now, don't get me wrong, I love all the things I am involved in, and have a true passion for all the things I committed to. But, I really need to calm down, stop saying "yes, sure!" to everyone, suck it up, and settle down with my activites. My grades are somewhat affected, and that bothers me a lot. Not as much as me "not having time" to read my Bible though. That's a sorry excuse for overscheduling yourself because time is static. You cannot "make time" like people say. You have the same exact number of minutes every day. It's up to you what you do with them. So: here's my new simplified life. Bold is set in stone pretty much, the unbold is somewhat flexible.

MONDAY:
9-11: graphics lecture
11-12: lunch
12:30-1:30: work out
2:00-4: homework in the mac lab, or meetings.
4-5:30 organizational leadership
5:30-8: dinner, study more, meetings, etc.
8-9:30: sigma phi lambda meetings
10:30: home, hopefully.
11:00: bedtime, or free time, crossing fingers I get to bed by 12.

TUESDAY:
9-6ish: work.
6-12: meetings at school, homework, in bed by 12 at the latest.

WEDNESDAY:
9-12: graphics lab
12-1: lunch
1:30-2:30: work out
3:00-5:30: homework in the mac lab, or meetings.
5:30-7:00: human resources
7:30-10ish: (every other week) SGA meeting
10:30: home hopefully
11:00: bedtime, or free time, crossing fingers I get to bed by 12.

THURSDAY:
9-6ish: work.
6-8: (every other week) IGAEA meeting
8:15-12: meetings at school, getting home, homework, in bed by 12 at the latest.

FRIDAY:
9-3: digital photography lab & lecture, lunch somewhere in between
4-5: work out
5:30-6:15: driving home (it's friday and takes forever.)
WEEKEND!

i cannot believe she wrote this. seriously.

Katie Marie Kornahrens you are the most amazing person I know and I am very fortunate to call you my sister. You have created dreams for yourself that it has become clear to anyone who has ears, eyes and brain and that has had a good conversation with you know that you are accomplishing those dreams and working very hard to achieve them! You are a incredibly loving person and is an awesome person to come to for advice. For many years you have let god lead your life and your an intensely strong person for keeping that up even with your family holding you down. You rarely ever have a negative attitude towards anything and it just amazes me sometimes how spiritual you can be. You are MY cheerleader, in anything I have going on in my life you are the one by my side to lift my head up and get me though it. Love you Kathryn!

**note, my name is not Kathryn. It IS katie!**

Moving Home, California, and Getting High

What a weird title, huh?

Well, I'm officially moved home. A lot has happened since, and it's only been a week.

I got in the biggest tiff yet with David and my boss, Todd. It got worked out, but hopefully change will actually happen. Crossing my fingers.

The Coogs won against Tech 29-28! That was awesome. Going down my facebook newsfeed and "liking" every status was fun.

I'm over scheduling myself. I really really want to join the Sigma Phi Lambda, but I also committed to teach the Point on Mondays. I'm hoping, and praying that someone would like to teach instead of me, or that next semester I can be apart of the sorority. I think it's really important that I get involved in something like this because all through college I haven't had any sort of accountability or really any Christian friends. I think God IS calling me to be apart of it, but it's unfortunate timing and maybe right now is not the right time.

Living at home is just weird, to say the least. It feels temporary. Like, two weeks, not two years. I've never been so tired at the end of the day. I was on campus every day this week, in addition, I was busy literally from 8:30am to about 11pm every night. Craziness. However, I have never been so good about my school work. Nothing is late, and I'm working hard on stuff. Well, with the exeption of Entrepreneurship. I really just don't even know what to do about that class. I have an interest in the subject, I just feel like I don't have time to apply to it. I really need to catch up with that one.

I think I woke up high this morning. Yesterday, my dad cleaned my carpet with Goof-Off to get some paint out of it. But it has a really strong smell that made the whole house reek. But, it's very concentrated in my room. So sleeping with it was weird and I woke up feeling a little woozy. This can't be good for me.

Daniel and I might be moving to California after graduation/wedding. He is majoring in biblical counseling and the John MacArthur "The Master's School" is where he needs to get his masters. It sounds like exactly what I think he wants. I even looked up cost of living and because the med center is so high, it's about the same as I was paying there. There are 20 registered sex offenders in the zip code. There's about that many here in my neighborhood haha. And, the tuition is really not as astronomically high as I would have thought. Looks like a possiblity that's seeming more and more do-able. :)

So I have to admit, I'm a total Miley Cyrus fan. Not Hannah Montana so much, but Miley. The Climb is on repeat. This song hit a soft spot with me a couple months ago, and I believe it's back. Along with a side of boldness I tapped into back in February.

I wrote the letter. I signed the promissory. I crossed the T. I dotted the I.

Things are happening very fast. I can't decide if I like it or not. I don't want life (college) to pass me by, but life just moves quicker than I can take it in sometimes. I have so many things I want to do I kind of feel like college is in the way. But, things like being involved in IGAEA, SGA and the possibility of a Christian sorority (another story, another time) make me happy, and make me never want to graduate. (Hah, well it looks like I'll at least get another semester of (sarcastic) bliss because I won't be graduating until December 2011 instead of May.)

Today was thoroughly exhausting.

I'm in love. That's all I'll say.

I have to express to blogger and viewers (again, all 2 of you) how much I love that I bought the older version of my HR book. The chapters are exactly the same. And $11 rental vs. $156 purchase? UM, no thoughts about it. Although, I do have to copy the case studies from an amigo. But it's all good. I have 2 willing amigos. :-)

"You make it easy. It's easy as 1,2,..1,2,3,4..."

- - - - -

The Climb lyrics (*bold added by me!*)
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

COUGARS ARE #12!!!!!

So last night UH defeated Texas Tech with an awesome 29-28 finish. AMAZING! Monday is going to be awesome with everyone so pumped up about it still! <3<3<3

what is wrong?

I look at you profile and see posts from her. Why does this hurt?
I hear your phone ring and see her name. Why does this hurt?
Why do I let it affect me?
I have 100% faith in the fact you're mine forever.
I trust you, I really do.
But I'm uncomfortable.

I'm strong, and I'll do what I have to.
I'll make do, I'll be cordial.
But I can't promise that I'm "ok" with everything unfolding this way.

I can't tell you who to be and who not to be friends with.
It's not my place, it's not fair.
That's not the type of girlfriend I want to be.

Please just do what you think is best, don't just try to please me.

Sticky situation.

lazy or smart?

It's 12:51 and I'm sitting in my car outside my apartment online because I needed internet access to get the paint colors from my email. Honestly, being in here is not much different than being inside there, now. At least in here I can sit in a chair.

This is really depressing. I mean, I know I have to focus on the future. I know it will be worth it. But making these "adult, mature" decisions and actually going through with it is so freaking hard. A big part of me just wants to say forget it all! I'm moving back in here! I realize that's ridiculous and impossible, and stupid - but it's what I want. I'm 20 years old and while I know I need to think about things that are going to happen soon-ish like our wedding, house, etc... I just want to be fun-having college student! I don't drink, but I want to party. I don't have many friends but I want to go out. I want to save my money, but I want to do things on the weekends.

And don't even get me started on my issues with actually living at home. This weekend was just a taste, and it was very sour.

- - -

In other news, I am feeling very emotional this week. I have so much to do it's crazy. I was reading Sara Jones (Ogle)'s blog and it just made me cry. Jude's birth story is amazing. Her water broke on the way to pick up her husband from the airport??! That's insane, but from the way she writes about him, he seems like an amazing guy. It's so refreshing to see real love instead of divorcees and bridezillas. (I was watching that show last night.)

I wanted to write this blog to say how amazing and supportive and helpful Daniel has been through all of this - but it didn't end up that way it seems. But he really has been great. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be moving home. I know that's contradictory to everything I just said in the first paragraph, but I know it will be beneficial later.

I don't know - I have to go paint and get crackin' - - I have class at 4 and need to do an assignment before that as well. If I stay here and write I'll just think too much about how it will suck next week not being able to sit here in my car and blog. See, I'm thinking too much already.

busybusybusy

MONDAY
9-11: Graphics Production Lecture
11: Meet with Jack about SGA Website
4-5:30: Organizational Leadership and Supervision
6:45: The Point at Jason's Deli!

TUESDAY
9-6ish: Workin'
7:30: Meet with Sam W about joining Sigma Phi Lambda

WEDNESDAY
9-12: Graphic Production Lab
1: Meet with Christine from AMLI to do unit walk through before we move out
4: Meet with Dr. Evans to discuss work dynamics
5:30-7: Human Resources

THURSDAY
-Last day at AMLI.- :(
8:30-11: Test Open (Org. Leadership)
6: IGAEAUH Meeting - Speaker; Janice Freeman

FRIDAY
9-3: Digital Photography
3: Meet again with Colby and Chenlong about our 45 min. HPMA presentation

It's our last week in our apartment. I think I'm more upset about it than Aijah, which is truly kind of freaking me out. But I will have to elaborate on this in a later post because I have to go to sleep because as you can see I've got an incredibly busy week ahead of me. (On the floor, because we moved everything back to Katy on Saturday.)

Renaissance Girl!

I am officially now a hairdresser, makeup artist, and a photographer!

Click here for my Homecoming 09 Pictures of Emmalie and Gaby!

sleepytiredfatigued

I feel like I am always constantly tired and literally fighting to keep my eyes open. This is a sign of anemia, they say. Maybe I should start taking vitamins.

In other news, I am getting so involved on campus (and in life, I guess) this year.

• I'm a senator. This requires bi-weekly meetings, but it's so much more than that. I'm co-chair of the Student Savings Program Task Force. That's going well, but it is kind of frustrating because I kind of feel like I'm not getting much response from other senators that want to participate. But it will be okay. There is also talk about me doing the SGA website, which I would LOVE. Also, I am up for nomination at the next meeting to be the new Vice Chair for the Student Life Committee because the other one (I can't even remember his name..) quit SGA last week.
  
• I'm the Secretary for IGAEAUH. (International Graphic Arts Education Association @ UH) This also requires bi-weekly meetings. I'm really trying to keep up with being involved with them because it's a great prep for my career and the people are really cool. Also, I really really want to be President next semester so I need to present myself as a good, organized, effective leader.
  
• I am also thinking about joining Sigma Phi Lambda, a Christian sorority. I'm not big into sororities, but I think that joining would be great for me spiritually. I don't have a big sphere of Christian influence in my life except for Sunday mornings and Daniel. And even then, I'm teaching on Sundays and honestly - Daniel and I have a lot of work to do in our spiritual relationship. (Don't think too much into this - we're doing just great, but I think we need to be even more God-centered and even more spiritually connected.) So, I have to create it. I need accountability.
  
• I am also trying to get involved with Cougars for Kids. I have a big break between my classes from 12-5:30 and would love to get involved in something worthwhile like helping at-risk elementary kids or sick kiddies at one of the hospitals in the TMC. Once I move home I will literally be stuck on campus during that time and there is only so much working out and studying I can do! So I think that would be great, and SO rewarding.
• Apparently I was also signed up to teach a Point group on Mondays, so that's cool.
• I also work Tuesday and Thursdays all day.
  
• And as I mentioned before, my classes this semester are intense and require a LOT of work.
  

BUT, I'm kind of concerned that I'm spreading myself too thin. I mean, I love being busy. I thrive on being busy, actually. But there is a thing as "too much." I do have the weekends off to study/sleep/chill, but still. I might have to give some of these things up. We'll see!

"Longest"

[I always title my posts before I write them. But that's like writing a book title before it's written. Usually I write about many things more than the title indicates. So, I've decided to title my entries after the fact from now on. This matters to no one but myself.]

I had a wonderful, teeny bit stressful Labor Day Weekend.

Friday was spent in class for the most part during daylight. It was a good class. I got my first real experimentation time with my new camera. Dumb me didn't figure out that the freakin' lens can be focused AND zoomed. Manual is SO much better than automatic. Although I can see the importance of automatic when you're shooting quickly. The night was spent with Michael and Mila. (So much cuter to call her Mila instead of Aijah when I'm referring to it with another M name, haha!) We made hotdogs at 2am, had a photoshoot at 3am, and finally crawled, or in Mila's case: stumbled into bed at 5am. It was a good, good night as the Black Eyed Peas said it was going to be.

Saturday AijahMila and I woke up and got ready to head home. I took some boxes and some things to donate home so this whole moving process will be easier. It's positively dreadful though. This is the fourth time we've had to move in 2 freakin' years. Once into Bayou, once out of Bayou and home for two weeks. One into AMLI which was actually thoroughly enjoyable because I was so freaking excited, and now this time - moving back home. On the way home, Aijah and I went to Pappasito's and had what was in my opinion the best lunch ever. I owe her 18 dollars though because I am currently b.r.o.k.e. Dave Ramsey was forgotten this week, apparently. On the way to my house after that, I heard my car making a thumpy noise. I exited, and pulled over at the Room Store off Brittmoore and I-10. Turns out I had a flat tire! Awesome! So I call my mom and we find out that she did not renew my AAA like she thought she did. So, while I'm talking to her I have to pee so bad (because I drink ice tea like I breathe air) and decide to go into the Room Store to relieve myself. While still on the phone, I get my camera and Mac Book to put them in my trunk and because I'm distracted and flustered I LOCK MY FREAKING KEYS IN MY CAR WHILE IT'S RUNNING. Now, realize - this is the THIRD time I have done this! UGHH So instead of the $45 it would cost to change my tire, it cost $80! Seriously, it look him less than a minute to unlock my door, too. SO DUMB. And then! My debit card was declined for some reason, then Daniel and I's joint account got declined for some reason (must be on there end if neither worked) so I have to go into the Room Store again to get cash. Ughhh just a fiasco. And today, I found out that they DID charge the joint account. AND I gave them cash!! At the moment, I still have my little donut tire on my car and I have to go to Discount Tire tomorrow at 8 to get it all fixed again. Which means, I have to go in late, which means less hours, which is definitely NOT what I need right now! But anyway...that's life I suppose. But, when I got home, I got a lot accomplished on my room though. The closet is cleared out, and I have about 10 bags of stuff to donate, and another 10 bags of trash! Haha. It was baaad. But in my defence, my room wasn't even really mine - it became the dumpster for all "IDon'tKnowWhereThisGoes" the past two years since I've been gone.

Then Sunday, I went to church and gave Molly the adorable UH shirts I got for her. I really want one now, too. It's hot pink and has the simple athletics logo on it in white. Gotta get me some more money first, though! Daniel came over and helped me with my room some more.

Today, my mom and I cooked out on the grill. We had steak, sausage, macaroni salad, potato salad, and corn on the cob. Hah, we're so American. I don't know the need for macaroni and potato salad, but whatever - it was good! Daniel and Emmalie's non-boyfriend boyfriend Andrew came over. Danny and I somewhat finished my room too. I still need more black paint for the dresser and bookshelves, I need to paint the other 3 walls of chair rail, buy a huuuge pink rug to cover the ugly carpet and paint spots, and move everything else in! I'm giving Daniel my futon, too because he is currently bedless. Hah, poor thing's been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for months, now! After that I read 10 pages (not much , lol) in my entrepreneurship book and it actually wasn't that dreadful. I realized that I do have a test on FRIDAY though! Goodness. Didn't realize it was coming up that quickly!

Chelsea (Popp) called me today. She's transferring to UH and wants to do graphic design!!! That's exciting but she has no idea about the programs and stuff, so she's coming over tomorrow to see UH and so I can explain how it all works. It's confusing when UH offers 3 freaking programs for graphics! I also talked to my mom about going back to school and she said it's something she'd definitely want to do if she can once Emmalie graduates! YAY! That would be awesome, right?! Just imagine, me running a company with my mom! Haha. sweet.

Also, I've started farming again. The boredom of studying makes farming look just perfect. But now I'm so behind everyone haha.

I found these cuuuute rhinestone bobby pins in Emmalie's room and I might just have to steal ....uhhhh I mean BUY... them from her. Adorable. I would wear these things everyday, forrrealll.

I am still totally and completely in love with my DSLR. It's just wonderful.

Also, I wordled this post haha. Thanks Jamie! I even used it on my website!
www.katiemariedesign.com!

Picnik

It's weird when I log in to blogger (through Google <3) and it says I've only made 7 posts. I feel like I've made a lot more. But, whateverrr.

I'd like to talk about Picnik.com. It's amazing. Now, I've always been partial to my trusty Photoshop, and granted, I still am because it can do much more than this website can. But, when you want something easy, fast, and practical - this hits the center of the target without even aiming. You upload your pictures and can mess with saturation, brightness, contrast, etc. but they also have some pretty cool edits that without a graphic designer's mentality, you'd just leave out. Plus it's inspirational for us graphics peeps. I haven't even upgraded to premium and I think it's great. But, premium has even more features and best of all it is SO cheap compared to the incredibly pricey Adobe Photoshop.

I'd also like to mention Apple Aperture. It's pretty freakin awesome as well. It's much more advanced than iPhoto, and is a great content manager if you've got thousands of photographs like I do.

I need to get another external hard drive. I want a portable one. It still hurts to think about the other one getting stolen - but ehh, that's just life happening around me I guess!

I'm going to go back to Katy now with a loaded car so this whole "moving" thing can go as smooth as possible. I really don't want to go. Yesterday when I was cleaning out my closet and packing it up I just sat there for a moment thinking how much it sucks to have to go. I don't want to leave. For the first time during this whole ordeal, it was incredibly hard to convince myself that what I am doing is worth it. But, after a couple minutes, the "smart thing to do" thoughts did come back, and I sucked it up and started packing again. Sacrifice is a hard lesson learned, let me tell you.

<3

Friday

So it's 4:17 a.m. and I'm still awake. I came home from class today about 4:30, was asleep by 5:30 and didn't wake up until 10:30. Mikey came over and did his laundry and just now left. We had a very professional photoshoot at 3, haha.

ignore

im just trying something out

OMG

I
HAVE
A
DIGITAL
SINGLE
LENS
REFLEX
DIGITAL
CAMERA!

I have waited so long to say that. I woke up smiling today.. I can't tell you how long I have spent on the computer researching and looking at pictures and reviews of DLSRs. AND I FINALLY HAVE ONE! (Thanks to my mom for pushing me to just finally do it. And thanks to Best Buy for 18 months interest free financing. And thanks to Aijah and Daniel for listening to me blab on and on for like, 2 years about how amazing these things are.)

BUT IT'S MINEEEEE! AHHH

AND I went to go buy boxes (to move home) today at ProGaurd Storage and got to talking to the lady there working at the counter. She has some pomeranian puppies she's trying to sell but all the pictures she takes come out blurry and looking bad. I started talking to her about shutter speeds and stuff and told her about DLSRs and everything and I just might have my first photography job!! I could not be happier. Well that's kind of sad if a material object can make me this happy. But... you know what I mean! haha (pics at the bottom)

Also, Molly is really sick still. Praying for her.
Also also, Aijah's sister was the victim of a drunk driving accident. Two of her friends died, she's in ICU, spent 10 hours in surgery, and they're just not sure what's going to happen. Please, please pray for her, but also for her dad (Aijah's stepdad) as he is going through a really hard time too. She was supposed to start her first year of college today.

Also, school is intense right now. This semester is so much work, as I've talked about before. But also, I figured out that I might have to graduate a semester late. I have homework to do right now, so I'll be writing about this probably tonight.

I think I've stopped farming. It was really fun while it lasted though.

first picture ever!!!

I'm feelin' it now.

So, after getting most of my syllabi (or syllabuses according to Mila and AP style) and putting all the due dates, papers, exams, and reading assignments on my calendar, I've decided that this semester might be the death of me. I might croak over just thinking about it. Each week, I have to complete so many assignments it's ridiculous! And tests? WHY are they all clumped together?? My goodness. ANDDDD I haven't even been to been to my Friday photography class!!

But, I have strong motivation to do well because last semester was really bad. I think it was a mixture of me being in a new major, figuring out my finances, and a LOT of stress at work. My grades weren't near failing, but they definitely went down. Those last couple weeks were so grueling and awful - I never want to find myself there again. I guess it was my own fault maybe for procrastinating - but it's a terrible feeling. So overwhelming.

Although, I am off to a good start. I've done everything I can without my textbooks. I wish they would come faster. I do have one assignment I can do with InDesign, but I have CS2 on my computer and it's nothing compared to CS4 (amazing!) we have at school. Still, it needs to be done and I'll probably end up doing it at home. (Side note: I calibrated my MacBook for graphic arts, it's wonderful. Thank you, Dr. Waite.) All the work I need to do isn't hard. It's just a lot of reading, answering questions, a TON of papers, and just.... work. I DO however see a 4.0 as possible, but it'll take a lot of work to get there. But still that is my goal.

I got the C.S Lewis book I talked about yesterday, too!

I'm reading Phillipians again - and loving it!

And it seems that I really miss blogging. In 10th grade (can you believe it - 6 years ago!) I began my blog life on xanga. I never want to delete those entries either - they're kind somewhat painful because sometimes I sounded so stupid, but that's who I was back then - and I'm a sucker for sentiment. I'd like to print them all out or something - just to make sure I can keep them. A lot of it is disguised writing about Daniel and how much I liked him. hahaha. Funny how things work out, isn't it?

The 4 Loves

So I know I just posted a couple hours ago, but technically, it IS the next day so I'm gonna post anyway.

The past two entries I have mentioned "agape love." Just in case my readers (all 2 of you, haha) don't know what I'm talking about when I say that, I will break it down for you as wikipedia has aided me. =) There is also a book by C.S. Lewis explaining it in more detail. I. Want. That. Book.

• Stergo - "fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance." Family love. People you love because you have to; you otherwise would have nothing to do with them.
  
• Phileo - "a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity." The kind of love you have for your friends.
  
• Eros - "love in the sense of 'being in love'." Sexy, sexy. Hence: erotic.
  
• AAAAAND AGAPE! - "an unconditional love directed towards one's neighbor which is not dependent on any lovable qualities that the object of love possesses." Basically, as it says: unconditional. Hard to do when people aren't treating you how you'd like them too, but it's how people are supposed to love each other. It's how God loves us. You know you're not exactly worthy of His love - but he still does? What?! Agape. Corinthians says "it holds no records of wrongs" - that sounds pretty unconditional to me!
  

Two Blogs in Two Days?! Whaaat?

Yep. I am totally into this now. Blogging is freaking awesome.

I have decided that Daniel is so right when he taught me how anger works. I am not the type of person to get angry often - maybe only a few times in my entire life I would say I've ever been "angry." But frustrated - well, that's a different story. I tend to be a complainer (which isn't good either) and a person that gets easily frustrated. I think it's because I (first) tend to be controlling and OCD. If things don't go perfect, I feel like I'm failing. Which is really not a good quality to have I think because rarely ever do things go absolutely perfect. But, as opposed to I used to think, there isn't a big difference between frustration and anger. Anger is more escalated, yes, but both are really just letting things that happen (that you cannot control) take you over and you make yourself upset. So, when your co-worker tells you "you have a really bad memory and don't know what really happened" or when your boss tells you to do dishonest things and gets frustrated because you "make his job harder" when you refuse to do them or when the same co-worker seriously does not understand how to make a business run efficiently just by simply doing his freaking job, you should not get mad about these things because they are outside of your control. All you can affect is your reaction to the circumstances that come your way. I could go on and on, but it's not worth it because that also would be letting the people of this world and their crazy non-loving ways get to me. But that's not who I'm called to be.

I need to be agape to all people at all times. Even when (especially when) they don't deserve it - because that's what Christ would do, and that's what He did for me.

Love, Peace, and Chickengrease. <3

P.S. I am totally loving this new background.

New New New!

By request of the wonderful Jamie Anderson, I've decided to give up on the occasional sporadic xanga or facebook post and bring my blogging life here. (Jamie, you should add me on Facebook, btw.)

Now is a good time to start, too. It's the first day of my junior year in college at UH. I absolutely it and can't wait to get started. It's going to be A LOT of work, but I'll make it! It's not necessarily hard work, but a freakin' lot of work.

In addition, it's been quite a summer for me. God's been stretching me in ways I never thought I'd go. I went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University with Daniel at the beginning of last year and it has thoroughly changed my life. I have decided to move back home to Katy with my mom. It's not worth it to take out any more loans just to live closer to school when it's not terribly far as it is. I just need to suck it up and realize that two years of driving further everyday is going to be SO worth it in the long run. The 12,000 I would spend these next two years in rent would follow me for decades after graduation, and I just don't want that. Luckily, I have a rather large amount of scholarship money and that covers tuition.

However, this year (of course the year I decide to not take out any more loans) I am an upperclassman, and a full fledged College of Technology student. SO: My classes are super expensive because they're 3000 level with lots of fees, and tuition is always rising anyway. So, I will owe about $1,000 out of pocket for my tuition. And that's just this semester. But, I have the right mindset (thanks to Dave Ramsey) about handling my money and I'll be able to pay it by working. So, I didn't fill out the FAFSA, I'm not getting a Stafford Loan, or any other type of aid. I just have to keep repeating, "it WILL all be worth it!" =)

In addition, I have been having this feeling that God has been working away at me slowly and brought me to a point yesterday where I finally needed to be. I won't go into too much detail, because it's really a long story - but basically, I'm at a good place right now. I'm trying to push myself to read more and more about who my God is. I'm trying to push myself to learn how to love the agape kind of love He gives us. I'm trying to push myself to have even more of a servant's attitude. Being closer to the church throughout the week will be helpful too. I've always felt like sort of an outsider (as weird as that sounds) in the church because when I came into it I wasn't able to participate in much because of money and because my mom didn't like to take me places or let other people give me rides. And then college came, and I moved away (ish) and I don't know - I just never felt "in." Anywayyyyy...

I need to start praying for my mom more hardcore-ly. I don't think that is a word, but she is having a rougher time than she even knows. I don't even know where to begin with her - but I pray that someday she can see that He is the only thing she really needs.

I'd also like to mention how awesome and amazing and faithful God is in relation to Daniel and I. We have been together over three and a half years now and get closer and closer by the day. We're trying to practice disciplines that will be beneficial later like in financial areas, spiritual areas, etc. The only one we really can't experience first is a baby. Unless Molly or Jamie would like to volunteer theirs for us to use! Haha, we'll gladly babysit! Lol.. anyway - I know we're meant to be together, he's the "one," and we're going to live a great life together. I'm not saying I've got it all figured out or anything - I just know that God has something great in store for us, and no matter what we go through we'll always be able to cling to the true, pure joy that Paul talks about in Philippians. I can't wait to call him my fiance and then my husband! When that happens though depends on him; so I will wait - because I really have no other choice. =)

Yea, I think that's it for now. More to come, promise!