real life. NEW PERSPECTIVES ON EVERYTHING!

**I know this is ridiculously long. Please excuse it, it's just that all this has been on my heart and writing it out feels good. I'd like you to read it - that's obviously why I wrote it down, but I understand if you don't because it's SO long. I think it's interesting haha.****

So on Saturday we went to Renaissance Festival, which was SO fun, but neither Daniel or I woke up for church. =( That bummed me out a lot more than usual for some reason so I was kind of down in the morning. Then, Daniel and I did our finances and I realized how broke I am.

If you've been reading, you know that I did not fill out the FAFSA this year because 1.) my dad did his taxes late with an extension and I didn't have them in time and most importantly 2.) I didn't want anymore loans anyway. SO I have to pay the excess of my tuition out of pocket. Which makes me proud to do, but at the same time is really hard when I don't make much money, and I'm having to spend so much on gas now, among other things. Anyway, tuition is due Friday, and I still don't have my reimbursement check from the conference I went on. I've only budgeted/saved enough to cover the amount that my reimbursement didn't cover, because I thought for sure the time in between JULY and NOW would be plenty long enough for UH to do all it's processing and approvals for me to get that money. But, apparently not. So, I might have a hold on my account and my grades won't get released until it's paid. They said the check was mailed out Oct 28, but I still don't have it. It's almost been 3 weeks. CRAZY. But whatever - there's nothing I can do about it - so freaking out is pointless.

So anyway, going back to me being broke: Gaby, Daniel's older little sister's sweet 16 is coming up and they're all going on a Disney cruise. They invited me and I really, really want to go because in addition, it's also May 2nd - May 6th, which means I would turn 21 on a Disney Cruise on the 4th!!! I cannot tell you how freaking awesome that would be!!

BUT I cannot afford to go without putting it on credit. Which I really, really, really do not want to do. But I will feel bad, because Daniel says he's not going without me. Even though HE CAN afford it. I can't - I just can't work enough hours with school. So I don't know. I would love to go, but I think the mature thing to do is just decline, and save for a time we can go later. =(

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So needless to say, all this made me pretty sad. But, again, God knows how to put me in my place. Daniel and I took Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and although I've gotten better about the importance of money management, and have actually helped other people (Aij!), I have still struggled with applying the principles to me OWN finances. However, I know why God has brought me to this point of financial suckage.

I'm a very hands-on learner. I write everything down. I make lists. I cross things off to see a visual of things getting done. So, all FPU's ideas/principals are great on paper, which I understand. But, understanding is WAY different than applying them. Principles work GREAT for Daniel. But for Katie, well... haha not quite. See, I am an emotional spender who apparently didn't realize that until she was literally brought to a point where she could not survive without budgeting to make it. So, this is it! I am never spending a paycheck without budgeting it again!

Daniel and I have combined out finances, so we have 3 accounts. One joint, and one for each of us. Everything that's not "active" money for the week for things like food, gas, bills, etc goes in the joint account for the e-fund, tuition, cruise (maybe), etc. It will work out much better this way, and really just makes more sense.

I feel so much better about my (our) money now, now that I've learned WHY I've been on a seemingly downhill slope since I moved out of our apartment. (Which as a sidenote, I SOO miss.)

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On that notion, I mentioned a few days ago how irreplaceable and amazing and awesome Aijah is. I'm very very very thankful to have her. I just miss living with her so much. We can sit and talk for hours on end and not even realize time is moving past us. I miss our late night McDonald's runs, our weird accent conversations, and most of all - our Whitney Houston nights. Those were the BEST.

Having a best friend is just one of the most important things someone can have. I never had a best friend like "they have in the movies". That is, until Aijah. I was always usually better friends with guys because girls are so dramatic/needy. But, our friendship is just so perfect because I can look at her and tell her her hair looks like a bird's nest, and she knows I'm just trying to make sure she looks pretty, it's not meant to be an insult. And she can stare at a zit that popped up overnight on my face and make fun of me for it, and we can give it a social security number, or a zip code. It's just something I never really thought I'd have. Sure, we go out to eat and people think we're "together" - but we know we're not, and we're having fun being loud laughing and not caring.

Aij, I miss you.. a lot. I never want to be too busy for you. Bacallis was SO fun.

Also, sidenote - for other friends reading, (I know who you are!) and just so you know, I love you too - I just had to give my Aijy a shoutout!!

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[This blog has transitioned so well.]

Speaking of being thankful - I was listening to KSBJ last night and they were talking about thanksgiving. Not the holiday, but the actual act of giving thanks, being gracious. More specifically, modeling graciousness in order to teach your kids/others.

They were talking about how important it is to be sure to thank God for the bad days and the hard times and the stressful moments because he brought us there for a reason, and there must be some kind of good in it because it's part of his plan. In addition, there's an important notion to realize. The entire act of being thankful points to God's glory. Essentially, if you're thankful for what you have; you're health, your happiness, what have you - you were blessed by your creator. Why would we be thankful for or to a spontaneous combination of particles? Why would we be thankful to chance? Just an interesting topic....

So yesterday I was being all grumpy and ehhhhhhh, but after hearing that and going through this loooong drawn out thought process, I realized that yesterday was just a day to teach me and put me in my place, yet again. I am going through all this NOW so I (or we..) are prepared in the future and we're not suffering financially at that time. It's better to learn the hard way NOW, than to go through this later, when more people are affected, or we're further in debt or something.

I get it now. God is using my situations/circumstances to bring me to a place where turning to him is not only what I need to do, but what I WANT to do. Also, the only thing TO do, to feel better about it.

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Okay, one last thing. Working out. Goes back to being thankful. See I've always had this unmentioned complex about working out because it's so hard in the moment and takes so long to see results, so obviously, that's unfavorable. However, I have another new perspective on this, too!

Previously, I thought, I need to work out to lose weight. I want to look better in my clothes. I want Daniel to wrap his arms around me and go "wow!" But, NOW I want to work out for something different. Nothing like any of that.. I WANT to work out to be healthy. Did you read that right, Aij?? I WANT to work out?!!!!!!!!! I want to eat right and work out to have a good lifestyle. If I lose weight, than cool - but I'm to try to keep my focus on just being healthy, rather than losing weight, because I believe that's a much less superficial goal.

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If you've read this far - I sincerely applaud you. You are a true friend, haha. Thanks, a lot.