OMG

I
HAVE
A
DIGITAL
SINGLE
LENS
REFLEX
DIGITAL
CAMERA!

I have waited so long to say that. I woke up smiling today.. I can't tell you how long I have spent on the computer researching and looking at pictures and reviews of DLSRs. AND I FINALLY HAVE ONE! (Thanks to my mom for pushing me to just finally do it. And thanks to Best Buy for 18 months interest free financing. And thanks to Aijah and Daniel for listening to me blab on and on for like, 2 years about how amazing these things are.)

BUT IT'S MINEEEEE! AHHH

AND I went to go buy boxes (to move home) today at ProGaurd Storage and got to talking to the lady there working at the counter. She has some pomeranian puppies she's trying to sell but all the pictures she takes come out blurry and looking bad. I started talking to her about shutter speeds and stuff and told her about DLSRs and everything and I just might have my first photography job!! I could not be happier. Well that's kind of sad if a material object can make me this happy. But... you know what I mean! haha (pics at the bottom)

Also, Molly is really sick still. Praying for her.
Also also, Aijah's sister was the victim of a drunk driving accident. Two of her friends died, she's in ICU, spent 10 hours in surgery, and they're just not sure what's going to happen. Please, please pray for her, but also for her dad (Aijah's stepdad) as he is going through a really hard time too. She was supposed to start her first year of college today.

Also, school is intense right now. This semester is so much work, as I've talked about before. But also, I figured out that I might have to graduate a semester late. I have homework to do right now, so I'll be writing about this probably tonight.

I think I've stopped farming. It was really fun while it lasted though.

first picture ever!!!

I'm feelin' it now.

So, after getting most of my syllabi (or syllabuses according to Mila and AP style) and putting all the due dates, papers, exams, and reading assignments on my calendar, I've decided that this semester might be the death of me. I might croak over just thinking about it. Each week, I have to complete so many assignments it's ridiculous! And tests? WHY are they all clumped together?? My goodness. ANDDDD I haven't even been to been to my Friday photography class!!

But, I have strong motivation to do well because last semester was really bad. I think it was a mixture of me being in a new major, figuring out my finances, and a LOT of stress at work. My grades weren't near failing, but they definitely went down. Those last couple weeks were so grueling and awful - I never want to find myself there again. I guess it was my own fault maybe for procrastinating - but it's a terrible feeling. So overwhelming.

Although, I am off to a good start. I've done everything I can without my textbooks. I wish they would come faster. I do have one assignment I can do with InDesign, but I have CS2 on my computer and it's nothing compared to CS4 (amazing!) we have at school. Still, it needs to be done and I'll probably end up doing it at home. (Side note: I calibrated my MacBook for graphic arts, it's wonderful. Thank you, Dr. Waite.) All the work I need to do isn't hard. It's just a lot of reading, answering questions, a TON of papers, and just.... work. I DO however see a 4.0 as possible, but it'll take a lot of work to get there. But still that is my goal.

I got the C.S Lewis book I talked about yesterday, too!

I'm reading Phillipians again - and loving it!

And it seems that I really miss blogging. In 10th grade (can you believe it - 6 years ago!) I began my blog life on xanga. I never want to delete those entries either - they're kind somewhat painful because sometimes I sounded so stupid, but that's who I was back then - and I'm a sucker for sentiment. I'd like to print them all out or something - just to make sure I can keep them. A lot of it is disguised writing about Daniel and how much I liked him. hahaha. Funny how things work out, isn't it?

The 4 Loves

So I know I just posted a couple hours ago, but technically, it IS the next day so I'm gonna post anyway.

The past two entries I have mentioned "agape love." Just in case my readers (all 2 of you, haha) don't know what I'm talking about when I say that, I will break it down for you as wikipedia has aided me. =) There is also a book by C.S. Lewis explaining it in more detail. I. Want. That. Book.

• Stergo - "fondness through familiarity, especially between family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance." Family love. People you love because you have to; you otherwise would have nothing to do with them.
  
• Phileo - "a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity." The kind of love you have for your friends.
  
• Eros - "love in the sense of 'being in love'." Sexy, sexy. Hence: erotic.
  
• AAAAAND AGAPE! - "an unconditional love directed towards one's neighbor which is not dependent on any lovable qualities that the object of love possesses." Basically, as it says: unconditional. Hard to do when people aren't treating you how you'd like them too, but it's how people are supposed to love each other. It's how God loves us. You know you're not exactly worthy of His love - but he still does? What?! Agape. Corinthians says "it holds no records of wrongs" - that sounds pretty unconditional to me!
  

Two Blogs in Two Days?! Whaaat?

Yep. I am totally into this now. Blogging is freaking awesome.

I have decided that Daniel is so right when he taught me how anger works. I am not the type of person to get angry often - maybe only a few times in my entire life I would say I've ever been "angry." But frustrated - well, that's a different story. I tend to be a complainer (which isn't good either) and a person that gets easily frustrated. I think it's because I (first) tend to be controlling and OCD. If things don't go perfect, I feel like I'm failing. Which is really not a good quality to have I think because rarely ever do things go absolutely perfect. But, as opposed to I used to think, there isn't a big difference between frustration and anger. Anger is more escalated, yes, but both are really just letting things that happen (that you cannot control) take you over and you make yourself upset. So, when your co-worker tells you "you have a really bad memory and don't know what really happened" or when your boss tells you to do dishonest things and gets frustrated because you "make his job harder" when you refuse to do them or when the same co-worker seriously does not understand how to make a business run efficiently just by simply doing his freaking job, you should not get mad about these things because they are outside of your control. All you can affect is your reaction to the circumstances that come your way. I could go on and on, but it's not worth it because that also would be letting the people of this world and their crazy non-loving ways get to me. But that's not who I'm called to be.

I need to be agape to all people at all times. Even when (especially when) they don't deserve it - because that's what Christ would do, and that's what He did for me.

Love, Peace, and Chickengrease. <3

P.S. I am totally loving this new background.

New New New!

By request of the wonderful Jamie Anderson, I've decided to give up on the occasional sporadic xanga or facebook post and bring my blogging life here. (Jamie, you should add me on Facebook, btw.)

Now is a good time to start, too. It's the first day of my junior year in college at UH. I absolutely it and can't wait to get started. It's going to be A LOT of work, but I'll make it! It's not necessarily hard work, but a freakin' lot of work.

In addition, it's been quite a summer for me. God's been stretching me in ways I never thought I'd go. I went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University with Daniel at the beginning of last year and it has thoroughly changed my life. I have decided to move back home to Katy with my mom. It's not worth it to take out any more loans just to live closer to school when it's not terribly far as it is. I just need to suck it up and realize that two years of driving further everyday is going to be SO worth it in the long run. The 12,000 I would spend these next two years in rent would follow me for decades after graduation, and I just don't want that. Luckily, I have a rather large amount of scholarship money and that covers tuition.

However, this year (of course the year I decide to not take out any more loans) I am an upperclassman, and a full fledged College of Technology student. SO: My classes are super expensive because they're 3000 level with lots of fees, and tuition is always rising anyway. So, I will owe about $1,000 out of pocket for my tuition. And that's just this semester. But, I have the right mindset (thanks to Dave Ramsey) about handling my money and I'll be able to pay it by working. So, I didn't fill out the FAFSA, I'm not getting a Stafford Loan, or any other type of aid. I just have to keep repeating, "it WILL all be worth it!" =)

In addition, I have been having this feeling that God has been working away at me slowly and brought me to a point yesterday where I finally needed to be. I won't go into too much detail, because it's really a long story - but basically, I'm at a good place right now. I'm trying to push myself to read more and more about who my God is. I'm trying to push myself to learn how to love the agape kind of love He gives us. I'm trying to push myself to have even more of a servant's attitude. Being closer to the church throughout the week will be helpful too. I've always felt like sort of an outsider (as weird as that sounds) in the church because when I came into it I wasn't able to participate in much because of money and because my mom didn't like to take me places or let other people give me rides. And then college came, and I moved away (ish) and I don't know - I just never felt "in." Anywayyyyy...

I need to start praying for my mom more hardcore-ly. I don't think that is a word, but she is having a rougher time than she even knows. I don't even know where to begin with her - but I pray that someday she can see that He is the only thing she really needs.

I'd also like to mention how awesome and amazing and faithful God is in relation to Daniel and I. We have been together over three and a half years now and get closer and closer by the day. We're trying to practice disciplines that will be beneficial later like in financial areas, spiritual areas, etc. The only one we really can't experience first is a baby. Unless Molly or Jamie would like to volunteer theirs for us to use! Haha, we'll gladly babysit! Lol.. anyway - I know we're meant to be together, he's the "one," and we're going to live a great life together. I'm not saying I've got it all figured out or anything - I just know that God has something great in store for us, and no matter what we go through we'll always be able to cling to the true, pure joy that Paul talks about in Philippians. I can't wait to call him my fiance and then my husband! When that happens though depends on him; so I will wait - because I really have no other choice. =)

Yea, I think that's it for now. More to come, promise!